Steven May and a punch-on at 2 a.m.? In other news, water is wet. The Melbourne defender has somehow found himself in the middle of yet another off-field drama, this time at Sorrento’s Continental Hotel, where a bloke walked away with a broken eye socket and a detached retina.
According to the alleged victim, May revved things up with a classic “Come on, let’s go,” before the fists started flying. Dion Prestia was also apparently in the mix, though Richmond is already rolling out the “he was just in the vicinity” defence.
But let’s be honest—no one is really shocked. May has been throwing himself into late-night biffo with the same enthusiasm he brings to a defensive spoil. This is the bloke who had a punch-on with his own teammate, Jake Melksham, in a restaurant, and once copped a broken jaw from Campbell Brown on a trip to LA. At this point, a Steven May fight breaking out in the wild is about as surprising as a Collingwood supporter getting arrested at the footy.
The real question here isn’t about the AFL’s stance on player behaviour, because let’s be real—who actually cares? If anything, May’s biggest mistake wasn’t getting in a scrap, it was getting caught. The golden rule of footy punch-ups: Make sure you’re not in a postcode where someone’s got their iPhone camera rolling.
What this really proves is that the footy off-season is way too long. These blokes have way too much time on their hands. Get them back into pre-season, lock them in the gym, and keep them away from bars at 2 a.m. Otherwise, expect another May headline before Round 1 even kicks off.
